The Settee of Iniquity,
Colonel Cochran would
call it, or perhaps the Divan
of Abomination, though the
colonel wouldn't know a divan
from a chaise longue from
a hole in his ass.

He'd sit pantless in the
middle of the sofa digging
in its crevices, searching for
loose pennies and dimes with
his right hand, holding a copy
of Spinoza's Ethics in his
left, reciting bits aloud.

God, or substance, consisting
of infinite attributes, of which
each expresses eternal and infinite
essentiality, necessarily exists.
Then, PHOOEY! and off he'd go
to Fayette County, still pantless,
with a chicken for Miss Jessie.

GREG KOEHLER